I am the very model of a modern US President,
Like some old farts once said, I hold this thing to be self-evident,
I know a lot of words, in fact my mind is a distillery
Of facts I gleaned from Wikileaks concerning Crooked Hillary.
I’m very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I’ve never paid a cent in tax because I’m bigly tactical,
I wrote the book on wealth, no shit, I’m pretty much the Lexicon,
I’ll make this country great again and charge it to the Mexicans.
He’ll make this country great again and charge it to the Mexicans!
My education knows no bounds, I own a university
It’s right up there with Yale and such, and, yes, they named it after me,
If you’re a starving salesman striving hard to fight adversity
For twenty grand I’ll show you how to make your mark in property.
My properties range far and wide, from Scotland through to Istanbul
From Turnberry to big hotels with great big fancy swimming pools
The name of Trump’s emblazoned on the front of every edifice
I don’t exactly own them, I’m, like, more a friend with benefits
He don’t exactly own them, he’s, like, more a friend with benefits!
I’ve so much wealth I cannot count, I’m part of a plutocracy;
A billionaire for decades now, a credit to democracy,
My fingers in so many pies, from radio to NBC,
From steak to ‘The Apprentice’ and from there to beauty pageantry.
I’m something of a ladies’ man, my record is formidable,
The greatness deep inside me seems to make most women biddable,
Some say it’s just my bank account, but they’re just being cynical,
You might as well accept it, boys, The Donald’s at his pinnacle.
In matters of the heart, it’s true, I’m something of a prodigy,
The girls, they see this Alpha Male and line up for my progeny,
I’m known for grabbing second base, some see it as misogyny,
I’ve such respect for women I need offer no apology.
He’s such respect for women he need offer no apology!
My military instincts lean towards the interventionist,
I’ve learned a lot from Russian Vlad, and, trust me, he’s no terrorist,
He wants to bomb some Muslims in some shit-hole deep in Syria,
So what? Who cares? Those idiots are totally inferior.
In politics my loyalties rest, like any great Republican,
Upon the right to use a gun to make this country great again,
If I can get my small hands on the launch codes of our weaponry,
I’ll send a few reminders up the arses of our enemies.
So people of America please join in my ascendancy
Please vote you huddled masses and ensure that it is rigging free,
I’ll be the new incumbent, in the White House I’ll be resident,
I am the very model of a modern US President.
Yes, he is the very model of a modern US President!